Video games are a fun part of life for many kids. They help children solve problems, be creative, improve hand-eye coordination, and make friends. Many games also teach teamwork and help kids learn how to handle challenges. Research shows that playing video games does not automatically make children aggressive. Most kids play games without any problems. But just like at school or on the playground, bullying can sometimes happen in online games.1
As a parent, it can be upsetting to learn that your child may be bullying someone while gaming. The good news is that this can be a chance to teach important life lessons. Not every disagreement in a game is bullying. Games can be competitive, and players do not always agree. But some behaviors are warning signs. Your child may be bullying if they:1
- Leave other players out on purpose
- Use mean or hurtful words
- Create fake accounts to hide who they are
- Quickly hide their screen when you walk into the room
Sometimes kids copy what they see from other players or online influencers. Others may be trying to fit in with friends or may even be acting out because they have been bullied themselves. If you think your child has been bullying someone, stay calm. Instead of saying, “You are a bully,” talk about the behavior you noticed. Ask questions like: What happened during the game? or How did you think the other person felt? or Why did you choose to say or do that? Listening first helps your child feel safe enough to tell the truth. It also helps you understand what really happened.1
The people on the other side of the screen are real people with real feelings. Help your child understand that words spoken online can hurt just as much as words spoken face to face. For younger children, you can: turn off chat features when possible, keep gaming systems in shared family spaces and set clear rules about treating others with respect. For older children, talk about making good choices online. Set fair consequences if they break the rules, and explain that monitoring their online activity is about keeping them safe, not taking away their independence.1
When children know they can come to their parents with problems, they are more likely to be honest and ask for help. With guidance, they can learn to be kind, respectful, and responsible both online and offline. Video games should be a place where everyone can have fun. Talk with your child about their gaming experiences today. Ask who they play with, what they enjoy, and how they treat others during the game. One simple conversation can make a big difference.1
Together, we can help create safer online spaces where every child feels respected, included, and valued. If you are interested in becoming an Advocate for the Innocent member and gaining access to our Resource Center ($10/month or $99/annually), visit https://advocatefortheinnocent.org/memberships/.
1 – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/keeping-your-kids-safe/202602/what-to-do-if-your-child-engages-in-online-gaming-bullying
2 – Image by Freepik/Magnific