Have you ever experienced situations in life when you were forced to fight, flight or freeze? What did you do? If you have had more than one experience, were your responses different? We may anticipate or conceptualize how we will respond, but until we’re in the actual moment… we never really know. Psychology Today referenced a new reaction, fawn, in an article released in June 2021. A fawn response forfeits rights and boundaries, making victims compliant and without a sense of identity… not able to act on one’s behalf.1
I was working in my home office one day and there was a bad storm with heavy rain and gusty winds. I heard a very loud cracking noise and looked outside my window. I saw a 30’ tree snap off at the base, circle slightly and fall crashing down in front of my property. The logical thing to do would have been to run far away from the window and potential threat, but I sat in my desk chair, braced for impact and screamed. Common sense and logic would have told me to take a different course of action to avoid danger, but in the moment of crisis… we react rather than act. Fortunately, the tree did minimal damage and I wasn’t hurt.
According to the National Institute of Health, our brains aren’t fully developed or mature until we’re in our mid-to-late 20s. This is one of the reasons that children respond to the threat of abuse or abuse in ways that adults may not understand. I recently watched the TEDx Talk “From Victim to Survivor: Find Your X… but First, Your (Wh)y?,” and I was surprised by Lauren Book’s story. She was 11 years old when she was abused and yet didn’t report it for six years. Although I’ve read many articles that this may be typical behavior, I couldn’t understand why a child wouldn’t run or immediately go and tell one of their parents until I heard her story. She explains it in an understandable way, and her story motivates me to do more in my power to protect the innocence of children.2
DO: Create a sense of safety – engage everyone’s curiosity
- Make the experience playful and fun
- Teach children and youth strategies to help them settle their bodies
- Stop when needed and help them settle
DON’T: Scare children to demonstrate what survival responses are like
By preparing children for the unexpected, they will be better equipped to respond to potential threats. If you are interested in becoming a member and gaining access to our Resource Center ($10/month or $99/annually), visit https://advocatefortheinnocent.org/memberships/ to learn more.
1 – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/arts-and-health/202106/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-feign-response
2 – https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-toknow#:~:text=Although%20the%20brain%20stops%20growing,the%20last%20parts%20to%20mature
3 – https://makingsenseoftrauma.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/How-to-Talk-to-Children-about-Freeze-Flight-and-Fight.pdf