I am delighted to share AFTI’s first survivor story. I met Victor Pacini, Founder of Childhood Victories, after researching content on Erin’s Law.1 Erin Merry, Founder and President of Erin’s Law, is a childhood sexual assault survivor. After she introduced the legislation in her home state of Illinois, the bill was named “Erin’s Law” by legislators, and it has caught on nationwide. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate child sexual abuse prevention. As of January 2023, Erin’s Law has been passed in 38 states.2
Victor and I had several meetings to see how we might potentially align our efforts and he shared some of his story with me. This is an excerpt from his website:
Everyone has a story! My story is tragic on one hand but amazing on the other. I was sexually abused by a family friend when I was eight years old. During that time I had to deal with an alcoholic father who told me time and time again that children should be seen and not heard. In 1999, my mom died at the age of fifty-nine, and, in 2001 I lost my sister because of domestic violence.
I DECIDED to CREATE out of my pain and help others do the same. I design programs that empower children to create that confident voice, value that voice, and share that voice with the world.
After getting to know Victor a bit more, he kindly offered me the opportunity to shadow him during one of his presentations at a suburban school in Illinois. His curriculum meets the criteria for Erin’s Law, and he has been presenting in schools on the topic of sexual abuse prevention since the law was established in 2011. During the past 13 years, he said that 550+ students had approached him after presentations to tell him they had been abused. In his own words, “I DECIDED to CREATE out of my pain…” and that decision has allowed him to help so many students share their own stories.
The shadowing experience for me was inspiring and encouraging, but also sad at times. I loved the format of Victor’s presentation because it was very interactive and engaging for the students. Each grade has customized content that is age-appropriate and aligns with a student’s ability to retain information at different stages (e.g. catchy songs for younger students and Q&A sessions for older students). I was inspired to see the students so receptive to Victor and his message. It impressed me to see the teachers for each class and social workers participating and encouraging the students to engage. This format allowed Victor to focus on presenting the content and engaging with the students, while the teachers and social workers could focus on the student’s behavior to see if there may be any indicators.
Indicators can be subjective, and I was very impressed by the level of attention that was paid to the students during the presentation. Some of the teachers and social workers briefly discussed the students’ behavior after the presentations to determine if they should have individual conversations with any students. One student asked 4-5 questions and I automatically assumed that this student should have a follow-up conversation. However, his teacher explained that his typical behavior in a classroom setting is to ask a lot of hypothetical questions. One of his questions prompted the girl sitting next to him to answer because Victor had already answered that question once for him. Having the teachers and social workers present is key because they can provide context about the student’s behavior, and it helps them better determine if there is a possibility of abuse and what steps should be taken.
I had moments of sadness during my shadowing experience because I was struck by the reality of why Victor invested his entire career and life path to helping children either avoid or recover from sexual abuse. My heart hopes that one day these types of training programs will not be necessary, but it is our reality, and the more resources we provide for all students, the better chance we have of preventing child abuse permanently. I hope this story inspires you to share your story with me at renee@advocatefortheinnocent.org.