As I began writing this blog post, I pondered whether to write on this topic because our goal at Advocate for the Innocent (AFTI) is to focus on prevention. Our primary objective is to advocate for the innocent, not to give undeserved time or recognition to predators. However, I was shocked and disheartened last week to learn that the veterinarian, who has been treating my cat for the past 3+ years, is facing child abuse charges.
Internally, I struggled with the reality that this predator was in my midst, and I had no clue. I couldn’t help but retrace some of my steps and think back to our interactions and conversations. Were there any signs? Could I have done something earlier if I had been more present and paid attention to details that may have mattered? Some of his personality traits were off-putting from time to time, but I believe that is true of most relationships (professional or personal). As my mind raced, I couldn’t come up with anything clear that would have given me a reason to believe this man was a predator, and yet charges have been filed.
I decided to write this article about a predator that is in plain sight, but not to highlight the predator. I think it’s important to understand that this type of abuse is not easily recognized for so many reasons. If you missed the signs, you shouldn’t feel guilty or responsible. The predators are skilled at grooming and making children feel accepted. The signs may not be obvious, but it doesn’t mean we should stop searching for them. The best way to achieve prevention is through education and awareness.
Lauren’s Kids1 is a nonprofit I came across through La Rabida.2 Lauren Book, founder of Lauren’s Kids, is a survivor and developed a curriculum for K-12 that educates children and adults about sexual abuse prevention. Child sexual abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level and across all cultures and regions. Some encouraging statistics from Lauren’s Kids are that 95% of this abuse is preventable through education and awareness.1 As people begin to realize this is a silent epidemic, they will take on the responsibility of creating awareness and educating others. Additional statistics from Lauren’s Kids: when sexual abuse does occur, 75% of child victims do not disclose within a year, 45% keep their abuse a secret for at least 5 years, and many stay silent for decades. Some will never tell.3
I hope you are encouraged to learn that 95% of abuse can be prevented through education and awareness. There are days when I feel overwhelmed by the reality of what some of these innocent children are facing, but it motivates me to press on! When we educate ourselves, we can advocate for those who aren’t able to advocate for themselves. If you are a survivor, please consider sharing your story with me at renee@advocatefortheinnocent.org.